in his judgement
by inferablefiend
Summary: Hawke begs Inquisitor Ni to rescue Anders from the Chantry and being turned Tranquil. She holds her own judgement for him, but none of them expect what she chooses.


_A/N:This is more of an experiment of a multi-chapter fic I've been thinking of diving into. Of course, all the details in here would be more indepth and stretched out, given more time to develop as well. If you love this idea, let me know! God knows I have enough multi-chapter stories going on at this moment. And the ending of this fic does not reflect the ending of the possible multi-chapter story._

The judgement isn't held in the throne room. It isn't given public access. And there are few in attendance. Hawke is almost painfully aware how many people want his head for being the catalyst of the mage and templar war. She supposes could argue he's also the cause for the conclave and the death of the Divine.

Anders doesn't stop staring at her as Inquisitor Ni's scarred face glares down at him. "You understand she rescued you?" Ni asks, shattering the tense silence. His eyes are drawn to her.

"She should've left me to die," he spits.

Hawke shakes her head, stepping forward to comfort him. Varric stops her with his hand, his eyes only on Anders. She knows he doesn't like the mage, but is it so terrible her comforting him? "I couldn't, Anders. The Chantry would've made you tranquil. Leliana's reports said-" His wide eyes say enough. He didn't know. "I couldn't let you-you always told me death is more preferable to being tranquil. Please understand-" Hawke is begging with him now. It seems she always has to beg with Anders about the worth of his life.

"Storm!" Cassandra snaps, her golden eyes dropped in a glare. "Enough."

"If you are done fighting, I'd like to get this moving." Ni looks back at Anders.

In the few seconds of stretched silence, Hawke gets a good look at her lover. His hair is nearly to the middle of his back, tied back in a loose, thick braid and his hands are scarred, calloused from years of hard work of keeping people safe, playing with a simple leather, hair tie she'd given him years ago. When was the last time they spent a good night together? When they weren't fighting off templars and rescuing pockets of mages captured? Storm Coast? Varric had set it up, telling her to go to it. This was almost a year ago.

It makes her ache to be back in his arms.

"I am not the only one deciding your judegement. Each one of them has an opinion and it will sway my deicison," Ni says crisply, hold her hands in front of her.

"Don't want my blood solely on your hands, Lady Inquisitor?" Ander growls, raising his head higher than it was.

"I have no problems getting blood on my hands, Anders. It has been discussed as a team that I will allow them each to come forward and speak their mind. Both Varric and Cullen were in Kirkwall when you brought it down to its knees."

"It was only a matter of time. I only sped up the process."

Ni says nothing more, motioning for Cassandra to step forward. "Anders, you have caused irreparable harm and it can be argued you took the Divine's life. I say a life for a life," Cassandra says, her voice uncharacteristically quiet as she glances at Hawke.

"I didn't blow up the Chantry to just take her life. She was a casualty in a necessary-"

"Don't you dare call her death necessary! You not only took her life but thousands of others. You threw this world into disarray and sat back to fan the fucking flames.

Anders tenses, his hands wringing around the hair tie now. "Necessary! Once you see all of this as necessary, you can see where I am coming from. It was required to get the templars to finally see and pay for what they did to the mages. We are humans and elves, not monsters wearing a disguise. Hawke please," Anders says, looking straight at her and begging. Begging to side with him. Begging to see his point of view and know he's not crazy for what he did.

Except he is and even she, as much as she loves him and would give up for him, will never understand why he had to blow up the Chantry.

"There could've been another way," Cullen says sharply, running his hand through his hair. His other rests on the hilt of his sword as he shifts his weight to his right leg. "There is always another way."

"There was no other ways. Petitions, begging, fighting, _bloodshed-_ it all went unnoticed. I had to disband it, the Circles and the Templar Order. We have to start over."

"This isn't starting over, Blondie. This is fucking with people's lives. You threw them into chaos and did nothing."

"I helped," Anders growled. "I rescued mages from templars gone rouge. Stopped tranquil rituals. Disbanded large groups and helped those who needed it."

"You may have done that, but you also proved how dangerous and unstable mages are."

"I made my choice. Don't you put my actions on others."

"I'm not. I'm simply making a comparison."

"What Varric? Because I blew up the chantry, it definitely means that mages are unstable people?"

Varric sighs.

"You all aren't listening," Anders growls, moving to stand. It's a flurry of movement and the sound of unsheathing swords cause Hawke to move. She throws herself over him, shielding him from the blade tips now digging into her back.

"Curly, Seeker, is this truly required?" Varric says.

Anders put his arms around her, pulling her to him tightly. The swords are eventually removed, Hawke assuming from a silent command from the Inquisitor. "The blood of those innocents are on your hands Hawke," Cassandra growls.

She doesn't move, doesn't respond to the lowered voices behind her. "You asked me to save him, but that will not stop him from having to answer to his crime," Ni says.

Hawke pulls back, looking into his amber eyes. "Okay. I love you, no matter what happens." They kiss, softly at first but it grows more desperate.

"Enough," Cassandra snaps.

"Seeker, have a heart," Varric's soft voice says. They are given a bit more time, a bit more physical contact.

Though Hawke would've never expected this from the Inquisitor. "You can spend the night with him in his cell," Ni says, catching Hawke's eyes. Is she going to execute him come morning? Are they giving them one last night?

This also means she has the choice and chance to break him out.

"As long as you promise you won't break him out." Shit, can Ni read minds?

Storm Hawke always keeps her words, whether it's a threat to kill someone to help. But as she promsied the Inquisitor she wouldn't, tonight will mark the first time in her near thirty years of breaking her given word.

Two heavily armed guards come to bring Anders back to his cell, Cullen walking closely behind with a grim mouth.

! #$

"Lady Inquisitor," Cassandra says tightly, stalking to the other side of the table. "You must make a decision tonight."

Varric gives Ni a sympathetic look as he turns to leave.

"Cassie, please," Ni says tiredly, falling to a stray chair that had somehow made its way into the war room. "I'm not-this isn't as easy as it looks. I haven't had to execute anyone yet. I don't want to start now."

"Ni." Their eyes meet and Cassandra doesn't look away. "You of all people understand what it's like to have something taken from you. Why do you entertain the idea of keeping him alive?"

"The world has been burning for years. I believe this war would've happened, as Anders say, without the Chantry blowing up. It just would've taken longer. It would've been smaller events leading into bigger ones." Ni runs a hand through her blonde hair, huffing in frustration. "If I kill him or turn him tranquil, we may lose Hawke. Maker, we may even lose Varric."

"Fuck Varric and Hawke. That man needs to pay for his sins." Ni approaches Cassandra, putting their hands together and drawing out small circles on Cassandra's palm.

"How would you feel if it was me?" Ni asks.

"It's not you."

"Cassie, answer the question."

Cassandra sighs, looking away from Ni's eyes, searching for something, an answer maybe. "I would do everything in my power to keep you alive. I would break you if-" Her mouth hangs open as the realization dawns on her. "You don't think…"

"That's exactly what I'm hoping for. Hawke is enough to make him repent. She will make him relive that day until he feels the grief he needs and they will continue to help." Her hand cups Cassandra's cheek. "I've made it ridiculously easy for them to escape, plus Varric already knows of the plan?"

"Does Hawke?"

"I couldn't trust her to go through the judgement without tipping him off. I understand I'll be answering some questions from Commander Cullen in the morning when they find out Hawke broke him out and it's not likely that this will be kept from Leliana." Ni grins, pulling Cassandra into her arms. "It's the perfect love story, don't you think?"

* * *

"Inquisitor Ni did what?"

Varric leans against the open door, his grin for Hawke only. She notices when he looks at Anders, his smile loses its brightness and a certain hardness comes to his eyes. "His punishment is his escape."

"That doesn't make any sense," Anders growls from his prone position on the bed. His arms are behind his head so he's looking up at Varric. "Everyone wants me dead."

"This is less for you and more for Hawke, Blondie." Their eyes meet. "You deserve nothing short of death, but _she_ doesn't deserve the pain that would come with that."

Hawke stands, not wanting to look the gift Inquisitor in the mouth, adjusting her large sword across her back. Anders stands as well, their hands coming together and his face lights with a smile. It casts the shadows from her heart.

* * *

Two tiny horses gallop down the path. Cassandra wraps her arms around Ni's waist, resting her head on the shorter woman's shoulder as they watch them escape down the path from Skyhold. "A great love story," she says, repeating Ni's words from earlier and kisses her gently on the ear.

 _A/N:_ _This is also written for my Secret Santa! I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it_.


End file.
